Cruft - Frequently Asked Questions

I will attempt to answer Frequently Asked Questions here.

Q:  Who are you?
A:  I am a mild-mannered husband and father of two.  I work for a trans-national entertainment corporation by day.  At night I wash children, wipe bottoms, fold laundry, play on the internet and sleep.

Q: Some of your facts are wrong in your rant, will you fix them?
A:  No, it's my page, I'll do what I want.

Q: What's up with the Dr. Pepper stuff?  Are you a kook?
A:  Everybody collects something.  I collect Dr. Pepper look-alikes.  It's cheap and it keeps me out of trouble.  Just be glad I don't collect Beanie babies or Pokemon cards.

Q: Why don't you have snazzy graphics like everyone else?
A:  Because I think slow loading web pages suck.  I don't want to suck.

Q:  You play video games on the internet, are a geek or what?
A:  First of all, without us geeks, you non-tech types would still be sitting around the campfire, dressed in hides, grunting about bad rashes on your privates instead of sitting in front of a computer surfing the internet.  Yes, I'm a geek and we make the world livable.  If you don't like that answer, fuck off.

Q: What is Ultima Online?
A:  It's an online game that is running all the time.  It's a virtual world where many people meet up to do things.  You have to see it to understand.  I have concluded that the game creates some sort of subliminal message to play constantly.  It's the only explanation for why I stay up so late playing it.

Q: Why do you use a pink background?
A:  Because I am secure in my masculinity.   

Q: Will you put a link to me on your page?
A:  No.    

Q: Do you work for Dr. Pepper?  I think you do.
A: I do not work for fucking Dr. Pepper. Don't send me jingles.  Don't ask me to write your term paper about Dr. Pepper.  Do not complain to me about what Dr. Pepper does. Go away you morons.

Got more questions?  Ask away.

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